When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
