We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
