At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize