You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
