Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
