Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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