I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
