The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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