Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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