As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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