just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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