She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
