She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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