i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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