The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
