she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
