She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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