I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
