The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
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