need another drink. this is the easiest way
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
