better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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