There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
