Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How external is "for external use only"?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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