I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He has the fingertips of a God
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
