I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
