How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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