I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
