You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
