I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
