I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This baby is an asshole
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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