she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
