you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My hand turned me down
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
