D3 body, D1 cock
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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