i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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