If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Is it because I queefed?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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