More tranny stories later!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
