there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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