dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yo dont text me then not text me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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