girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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