Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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