I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
