grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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