Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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