If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
