he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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