I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
