Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
