I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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