So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
