Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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