oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
