I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is wine microwaveable?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
