apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
