I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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