I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
