Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
