Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
