This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
