oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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